Animal Puns Gone Wild
A pun is a joke that sneaks up on you wearing a disguise — and animal puns are the sneakiest of all. Fair warning: after reading this page, you will start saying these out loud to people who are just trying to eat their lunch.
Cat-astrophic cat jokes
- What do you call a cat that can sing? A cattano.
- Why don't cats like fast food? Because they can't catch it.
- What did the cat say when it lost all its money? "I'm paw!"
- How does a cat bake a cake? From scratch.
- What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-ntain.
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
- What do cats wear at night? Paw-jamas.
Dog-gone dog jokes
- What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador.
- Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.
- What kind of dog tells time? A watch dog.
- Why do dogs float in water? Because they're good buoys (boys).
- What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
- What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You step in a poodle.
Bear-y funny bear jokes
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why don't bears wear socks? Because they have bare feet.
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- How do you stop a bear from charging? Take away its credit card.
- What did the mama bear say to the cub who wouldn't share? "You're un-bear-able!"
The rest of the zoo
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
- Why don't elephants chew gum? They do — they just can't blow trunk-sized bubbles.
- What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
- Why did the chicken join the band? It had the drumsticks.
- What do you call a duck that tells jokes? A wise-quacker.
- Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
- What do you call a cow that plays an instrument? A moo-sician.
- Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baa-hamas.
- Why are bees such good workers? They're always buzz-y.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing — it just waved.
- What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter.
- Why did the penguin bring a suitcase? It was going on a flight — well, a trip.
- What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon.
- How do bees get to school? On the school buzz.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner." (Okay, not an animal — but it deserved to be here.)
Make up your own animal puns
The formula is simple: take an animal name, mash it into an ordinary word, and see what happens. Horse + horrible = horse-ible. Goat + good = the goatest joke ever. Lion + lying = a lion story. Say it out loud first — if it makes you grin, it works.
Still hungry for more? The school jokes have their own brand of silliness.